We all know that one rescuer who always says yes. The one that will go so far out of their way to make the impossible happen.
But what happens when that Rescuer says no. What happens when they reach their limit.
When a rescuer says no a chip comes out of their heart, their need to save and please people gets dinged. Their self confidence their belief in themselves gets dinged.
The question I would like to ask is what do you do when someone says no. What do you do when the person you count on to say Yes actually says no.
Do you guilt trip them tell them the animal is going to die without their help. Do you call them names do you accuse them of being selfish? Do you accuse them of not helping animals? Do you lay a guilt trip on a mile wide? Do you insult them personally ?
If you do… Then you need to reevaluate how you respond to a rescuer who says no.
By playing the guilt card… You are saying you do not care about that rescuer .
You are saying you do not care about their boundaries… you do not care about them at all. You are actually saying you are simply using them because they only say yes.
You are saying, you have no respect for them as a human being or an individual with the ability to say no. You are essentially trying to force your will upon them.
That makes you the biggest problem..
When a rescurer says no..take it, believe it. Know they mean it, and support them in their decision. It was a tough decision…To begin with, you have no right to make it harder .
Do not make it more difficult. Please Care about the people not just the animals… People who rescue stand alone the minute they say no, and that is absolutely wrong..
It is dangerous and it isn’t fair.
Compassion fatigue, suicides..and hoarding issues arise out of this . Depression… alcoholism drug addiction…arise when people can no longer cope and are pushed to far..
“I like animals better than people ” is frequently heard from animal people.
That is true until one of these people need the help of a rescuer. Then they are nice and polite and begging for help. That works until the rescuer says no. Then all hell breaks loose.
Then the people needing help start with the accusations, guilt trips, and the true meanness sets in.
Rescuers without boundaries get crushed by this . Their feelings get hurt , their relationships get hurt, and they neglect themselves. They make poor choices, and begin to wear it like a badge of honor while it wipes them out .
I have a saying not my circus not my monkeys…
When I am asked for help ..and I need to say no, I think of that statement..
People are quick and happy to dump their problems on me, but will those same people respond when I put the call out for help . Do they give a damn about the animals they are begging me to take?
Or do they simply want to move a dog and make it someone elses problem..so they can pat themselves on the back while they walk away with nice clean hands.
The ones who want to make their problems my problems..yet take no accountability are a succubus. Those that won’t stand behind me when I need help are quickly and without a drop of guilt kicked to the curb.
Their animals are not my circus and not my monkeys. Is it a cold way of thinking ? Probably, but it is a way to keep my mind safe from the succubuses that are involved in rescue.
Once I promise to take care of an animal it is my responsibility..however; until I make that promise…it is not. I have made the choice that I will not be dumped on ..by people who do not do the work , but want a clear conscience.
We all have our ways of coping, just try to make sure you are not dumping, guilt tripping , or hurting the same people you rely on to fix these problems.
If you are that Rescuer..find boundaries, find the courage to take care of you ..it is so inherently wrong to neglect the person who gives so much to the animals.